After getting enrolled in the college,my eldest son started making plans to make the best of the newly acquired freedom.He was so enthralled by the adventure that lay ahead of him that he hardly noticed the fear and sadness that gripped my heart at the thought of losing my little baby who was all set to crawl out of my lap and enter the big new world.
As much as I was happy for my son,I could not refrain myself from wallowing into self pity as I fear that the enticing adventure into the outside world is a one way journey and my little baby will never be the same again.
His time will now be divided between studying and enjoying with friends and I wasn’t very sure how much of it will be left for me.
I tried consoling my aching heart first having faith in my baby that he will never forget how much I love him and then with the practical thought that every bird leaves the nest eventually but having more people in life to love doesn’t necessarily means that love ends for the existing ones.
I also felt guilty that instead of being happy and proud of my son’s achievements,I am feeling sad and insecure.I told myself that if my child is comfortable and confident enough to venture into the outside world to find his own path,then I have done my job RIGHT.
Childern are not ours to keep,but it is our duty to teach them to soar high on their own.
I pray to God that he gets success at every step of his life and all his dreams and ambitions are fulfilled.
But I still could not shake this overwhelming feeling of sadness no matter how much I convinced myself.I was my child’s world until now and that was about to change.
However sensing my fear and apprehension,my son came up to me and gave me a tight HUG.