A Mother or a friend..

Sitting so close..yet so far from each other..Thanks to the mobile addictions…

As a Mother of 3 growing teenagers,I wonder how I didnt see this coming…

They are going through the overwhelming stage of internal and external struggles.A phase when every teenager experiences the persistent chorus of raging hormones that transforms even the most sensible ones into lovelorn souls craving to dwell in the hearts of every second person they meet..An age when friends approval means everything to them and parents r like a road block obstructing their path leading to happiness…

I have always been a liberal Mother,more of a friend to my kids and they have shared everything happening in their lives without any hesitation or fear.

But lately my role as a navigator in their lives is oddly replaced by friends,mobiles,laptops.They have essentially become my children’s compass entrusted with the responsibility of showing them the right direction.

I dont always reprimand them for their unruly behaviour or even their budding friendships encroaching upon the family time.I also try to understand their predicaments and their need for space and freedom.I constantly strive to be a friend who is approachable and accessible but also feel the need to develop courage and self restraint interwoven with the responsibility of parenthood.

Sometimes I feel my lineant attitude towards them stems from the fear that they will get distant from me and under any circumstances I do not want to close the communication channel between us as that is the only way I can keep a track of what’s happening in their lives.I am confident that with my knowledge, experience and wisdom I can develop a higher calibre and deep layerd friendship with them.But I cannot forget my prime duty is to instill the core values of discipline,honesty and character in them so that they become resilient and feel gratitude even in the lifes most challenging moments.

I am constantly striving to build a rapport with them so that they value my concerns and consider my advices impactful.In the matters of the heart,I am hoping my friendly attitude will make them feel comfortable to share their experiences but as a Mother I need to reinforce the important values that will build them happy and secured relationships in the future.I want them.to learn to differentiate between facts and fiction and stay grounded in every situation.

I always remind my sons to respect girls and treat them just the way they would expect other boys to treat their sister.

I tell my daughter that she can reach as high as humanly possible.

However I am clueless about how to make them understand there is a thin line between being a friendly mother and a MOTHER and they should always respect that….

As a Mother who gets frantic with worry when they are even half hour late I feel that I want the day to speed up,but the Time to go slow…..so that they remain my little babies for la long time when I can protect them from all problems and ensure their safety at all times.

I know this is just the beginning and there will be many hurdles to cross,many storms to face, but for my children I will always find a way or MAKE IT .

To all the mothers struggling like me,it is aptly said…There is no way to be a perfect mother,but million ways to be a GOOD one..

21 thoughts on “A Mother or a friend..

  1. It is a tight rope being a parent. I think I will do a blog post on this, here I made it for you: https://oversoil.wordpress.com/2019/08/28/it-is-a-tight-rope/

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My mother has been constantly trying to do this. DOn’t know about the good or bad, but she is perfect!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. first you arent their friend
    you are their mother
    second at some point
    they must ascend to adulthood
    meaning they decide and reap the consequences
    third you love them no matter what
    they are your literal blood
    continued well wishes!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Be a friend when you can, and a parent when you must. You will do most things right, and a few things wrong. But you will always be their Mother and they will always love you for it. Great post and very relatable!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks a lot dear.And I will always remember this advice..be a friend when u can and be a parent when u must…

      Like

  5. Same thoughts with me. I have three teenage children too.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. aryanrastogi445 August 28, 2019 — 4:56 pm

    I love u mom I will always support you no matter what difficulties come in your life I will try to destroy your sadness and will give u happiness

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I can totally empathise with your situation. There is no magic wand or perfect way (as everyone is an individual) but my general advice would be to treat your teenage children like adults and speak to them as you would a friend and DEFINITELY do not tell them what to do (as you would a young child) – or they will almost certainly rebel and do the opposite. I was advised to tell them how a particular behaviour of theirs made you feel, (like sad, angry, worried, disappointed or whatever) and effectively put the onus on them to think about that and, hopefully, modify their behaviour. This assumes they do care how you feel of course, which I’m sure they do. The main thing is to be honest, fair, consistent and treat them all equally, as I’m sure you already do. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for the advice.i never told them how their behaviour made me feel..will try that next time for sure.Thanks 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I cannot guarantee it will work, but children sometimes don’t think of the impact their behaviour has on their parents. If they wanted to be treated like adults, they need to behave like them and respect others – including (and especially) mum and dad! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  8. cute picture though πŸ™‚

    all the best!! i hope there’s always communication, friendship and respect between you and your babies. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  9. A lovely and a truthful read, Meena and loved your picture. Today mobiles and latest technology have surely taken over but the way you speak and care for your children, will go a long way, Meena. Being their friend and a little strong will go a long way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really hope so.m counting on it😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course do not worry life will be good the way you see.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close